We Don’t Need the Bad to Get to the Good

It started as a typical after-school conversation.

When my oldest of three sons was in grade one, I asked him, ‘How was school today?’

He responded with wide eyes and even bigger energy. “It was good. And I want to have an operation in my throat”.

Naturally, I asked him why.

With pragmatic excitement, he told me that one of his classmates had a throat operation and that she got to eat ice cream all day. I understood that someone had her tonsils removed. “She’s so lucky”.

I smiled, of course, and gently explained what tonsils are and why someone might need them out. That conversation stuck with me: Where did he learn that we need to have something bad happen to get to something good?

And so, I decided to rewrite the script: in this house we don’t have to wish for bad things to get to something good.

We created a new family tradition on the next statutory holiday, which was the May long weekend and celebrated “Ice Cream All Day Day.” I had fun filling the freezer with a variety of fun ice-cream flavours and they had fun anticipating this day of indulgence without apology.

Those three boys couldn’t wait to wake up and head straight for the freezer. Ice cream for breakfast, then a mid-morning snack with sprinkles, and lunch might have a few servings followed by a scoop of dessert. By mid-afternoon, one of them would inevitably ask, “Mom… can I please have something like a vegetable too?”

But before the first scoop each year, we’d remember that this is about more than just eating ice cream. It’s a reminder that we don’t have to wish for something bad to happen to enjoy something good. Joy can be chosen. Celebration can be intentional. We can make space for the good, just because.

That little moment with my son opened a deeper door for me—a reminder about how many of our habits, beliefs, and traditions run on autopilot. We follow patterns because “that’s how it’s done.” We move with the crowd. We go along to get along, even when something doesn’t feel quite right.

But every so often, something happens: a jarring moment, a painful event, or even a child’s innocent comment, and we’re pulled back to ask why. We don’t need to be shaken or broken before choosing a different way.

There’s value in reflection, in challenging old ideas, in making intentional choices.

We don’t need bad things to justify good outcomes.

And when we remember that joy doesn’t have to be earned through struggle, we also start permitting ourselves to create traditions, boundaries, and experiences that align with who we truly are.

And maybe… just maybe… go grab that ice cream for breakfast. Just because you can.