Words Matter: “I Swear to God I’m Not Even Lying”

Have you ever caught yourself—or someone else—saying:

“I swear to God I’m not even lying.” Or “to be honest”

They’re common expressions that seem to tumble out of people's mouths these days without a second thought. And yet, every time I hear them, I pause.

Because my first thought is, “Actually, it never occurred to me that you might be lying…or that you’d be less than honest… until you said that.”

It’s like standing in the kitchen, prepping vegetables, and suddenly someone says,

“I’m not thinking about hurting you with this knife.”

What?

Um, should I be concerned?

When someone prefaces a story or statement with, “I swear I’m not lying,” it feels like a pre-emptive defense—like bracing us for disbelief before they’ve even expressed their thought. It’s subtle, but it shifts the energy from “here’s something I want to share” to “please believe me.”

And when that’s the opener, I can’t help but wonder:

• Has this person been doubted often?

• Have they learned that exaggeration is assumed or impressive?

• Are they trying to emphasize truth… or do they anticipate being dismissed?

It’s a habit. Sure. But language is never just a habit.

It’s revealing. It tells us what someone thinks they need to do to be heard—or to be believed.

I wonder sometimes if this is a symptom of something deeper. A collective questioning of what truth sounds like. Maybe even a quiet anxiety about whether our voices carry weight.

Because if you’ve ever felt like your words don’t land…

Or that your truth needs to be defended before it’s even spoken…

You might start reinforcing your honesty just to make sure it sticks.

But here’s the thing:

If we want to raise (and be) people who speak with clarity and confidence, maybe we can practice trusting ourselves—and each other—a little more.

Maybe we can model conversations where people feel safe saying what they mean…

Without the verbal armor.

The next time you catch yourself saying “I swear I’m not lying” (or something like it), try this instead:

Pause.

Say what you need to say.

And let your words stand on their own.

It’s not about policing language—it’s about noticing where we’ve learned to be defensive without being questioned.

And asking why.

Because words matter.

They shape not just how we’re heard—but how we feel when we speak.

And maybe, just maybe…

We don’t need to swear to be believed.

We just need to start trusting that what we say has value.